Foundations of Group Life

Defining a Group Win

A win is an environment where people can pursue authentic community and spiritual growth. Two things. That is the whole target.

Sit on the word pursue. You cannot make community real and you cannot make anyone grow. You build the room where both become possible. That part is yours.

• Authentic community. Being real, vulnerable, and supportive as we grow together.
• Spiritual growth. A deepening love for God, expressed through love for others and increasing faith.

All of it sits on James 1:22-25. Do not merely listen to the word, do what it says. Our groups live in the doing part, not the collecting information part.

Core Values and Tensions

Three values shape how we run groups. Two tensions make leading one hard. Know both and most of your calls get easier.

• Connect the unconnected. The group is a place for people to find belonging and build relationships.
• Help people take next steps. We encourage people to grow, move forward, and deepen their faith.
• Reproduce groups and leaders. Read that one carefully. Groups and leaders, not group leaders. We are not only after the next person who will host a Monday night. We are after people taking a leadership step anywhere in the church.

Then the two tensions. You hold two goals that look like they are fighting each other, and you keep both upright.

Community vs content

Lean all the way into community and you have built a hangout people can get anywhere else in this city. Lean all the way into content and you have built a classroom. Neither one holds a group.

Intimacy vs inclusion

Your members will feel this one before you do. They found something rare and they do not want it touched. Lean too far into intimacy and the group stops multiplying. Lean too far into inclusion and nobody gets known, and people start wondering why they came.

How We Grow

Growth is a journey. It is movement, not perfection. And it is something you can see.

A growing person is becoming more like Jesus, building meaningful relationships, and living out their purpose. Any step forward counts, including the small ones nobody would put in a testimony.

Six beliefs underneath how we lead

• God is relational. He created us for relationship with him and with each other.
• Growth is a process. Not linear, and not finished.
• Growth is multidimensional. Loving God with everything, and loving people like you love yourself.
• God uses pivotal circumstances to draw people closer.
• God’s Spirit does the transforming. We make the space. He changes hearts.
• Everyone has purpose.

The five purposes

They come out of the Great Commandment and the Great Commission. Worship. Learn. Connect. Serve. Share.

Build a whole group around only one of them and it usually runs out of road in six to nine months. The prayer group. The Bible study. The team that is also the group. All good. All thin on their own. Five is what keeps a group from going stale.

Unlocking Growth in Your Group

Most leaders think the job is having all the answers. It is not. Four roles carry growth in a group, and yours is the one people usually get wrong.

• Individuals own their growth. Nobody can take the step for them. You cannot get baptized on somebody else’s behalf. So if someone in your group is stuck, that is not a verdict on your leadership.
• Groups support growth. Accountability is people walking through it with you. Belonging is a place where you are welcomed in. Care is people who show up when it gets hard.
• The leader encourages growth. You are not the expert, you are the encourager. Encouragement often sounds like “I do not know.” Saying you are unsure and offering to go find the answer together is leadership. People follow someone who is real, not someone who is right.
• The church partners in growth. If it is beyond the care of a friend, hand it to us. A friend sets up a meal train. A friend prays with you after a hard day. A friend does not walk somebody through a marriage that is coming apart. That takes a professional, and we have them.

Own your role and you unlock growth in everyone else’s.

Getting the Most Out of Community

Three asks of every member. Say them out loud in week one and your whole season gets easier.

• Show Up. Be there, and be there consistently. Presence is most of it.
• Join In. Talk, pray, host, bring something. Attending and belonging are not the same thing.
• Be Real. Say the true thing, even when the polished version is easier.

Your group will only go as deep as you are willing to go first. That is the quiet part of Be Real. It starts with you.