Activity · Personal Growth
Grieving
A worksheet each person does alone with God, and the night your group shares what came of it
Leader Context
Most of us are carrying a loss we never grieved on purpose. Some are easy to name. A person. A marriage. A job. Others are harder to see, because nothing happened. Something we felt we deserved and never got. Something we miss and don’t get to experience. Those are real losses too, and most of us have never called them that. We push past them, and they keep a quiet hold on us.
The worksheet at dinnergroups.com/grieving walks someone through grieving one loss with God, in three steps. Remember that God is for them. Tell him the truth about what they lost. Ask him to restore it, and to replace anything untrue the loss taught them. It works on a phone, saves there, prints, and shares.
This one is individual. Each person does it alone, with God. Your group’s part comes before and after: permission going in, and a safe place to share coming out. Introduce it one week and share the next, or send the link ahead so people come ready. You can do it in one night, but give people at least 20 minutes of quiet to think it through before anyone shares.
Expect it to be hard for a lot of people. Tears, anger, or a long silence don’t mean it went wrong. That’s usually what the start of healing looks like.
Don’t try to fix anyone. This isn’t an exercise we run to fix people. God does the fixing. Your part is to make room, listen, and pray.
It works one-on-one too. When someone in your group is walking through a loss, send them the link when they’re ready, along with the Death and Grieving care guide.
You’re not their counselor. If something comes up that’s bigger than your group can carry, connect them with the Care Team at care@hobokengrace.com or the Hoboken Grace Counseling Center, which works with grief and loss. When to Hand It Off walks through it.
Read to your group
Most of us are carrying a loss we never really grieved. Some are easy to name, like a person, a relationship, or a job. Some are harder to see. Something we felt we deserved and never got. Something we miss and don’t get to experience.
This week I want to invite each of us to pick one loss and grieve it on purpose, with God. It’s a short worksheet at dinnergroups.com/grieving. Do it on your own, somewhere quiet, when you have half an hour.
It might be hard. That’s okay. Next week we’ll share whatever you want to share, and nothing you don’t.
Questions
Read to your group
Before anyone shares, here’s what we’ll hold to tonight. We’ll stay kind and curious. We won’t give advice or jump in with our own story. Each of us shares as much as we want and no more. And what’s said here stays here.
The loss
Naming it is enough. Nobody has to tell the whole story.
What loss did you choose to grieve this week?
Doing it
Some people find it freeing. Some find it awful. Both are normal.
What was it like to sit with it on purpose?
What you told God
Let people read straight from what they wrote. Reading is easier than talking.
What did you say to God that you had never said before?
What it taught you
This is where healing tends to start. Don’t rush it.
What did this loss teach you that isn’t true?
What’s different
Give people room to say nothing has changed yet.
How do you think about that loss now?
Next Steps for Leaders
- Thank people for going there. Grieving out loud takes courage, so say it.
- Do the worksheet yourself the week before. Then share first, and keep it short so others know they can too.
- Hold the line on no advice and no “that reminds me of when.” If someone starts fixing, turn it into a question for the person sharing.
- If someone didn’t finish or doesn’t want to share, that’s fine. Some losses take longer than a week.
- Follow up this week with anyone who went quiet or opened up something big. A text is enough to start.
- Write down prayer requests and pray for each person by name. If someone’s grief is more than the group can carry, connect them with the Care Team or the counseling center, and let your coach know.