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Helping a Friend Through a New Job

A C.A.R.E. guide for encouraging someone through the stress of starting a new job

The first few weeks of a new job or a new career can be exciting. They can also be difficult and challenging.

So how do we C.A.R.E. for the friends, coworkers, and group members dealing with the stress of starting a new career?

Hoboken Grace dinner group members gathering together

C · Crisis: Understanding the Elements of Stress in a New Job

Starting a new job means proving yourself. Learning a new routine. Meeting new people and new personalities. Taking on new challenges. Mastering a new schedule and a new set of goals. And facing the usual workplace politics.

A new job or a new career can also bring stress and anxiety about expectations. Learning a new task is hard, and it can leave someone feeling inadequate. Fatigue, trouble sleeping, and trouble concentrating are common alongside the stress and anxiety. Some of that is normal in those first few weeks and months.

If you are going to empathize with a group member or friend starting a new career, understand the real worries most of us carry into a new job:

New job stress affects the whole family, especially when a move is part of it.


A · Application: Practical Suggestions for Encouragement

LookTrust takes time

If this is a new coworker, it may take time before they know you well enough to bring you a question or a frustration.

AskYou were new once too

Sometimes empathy, understanding, and positive encouragement are the most useful things you have to give. You were new on the job once too. So do not hesitate to ask:

  • How are you settling in to your new job?
  • How is your family adjusting to your new schedule or your new career?
  • What can I do to support you?
ListenBe available to listen

Be available just to listen to your coworker or group member talk about whatever they want to share, or when they have questions about the way things are done.


R · Reference: What Does the Bible Say About Work and Stress?

Tap a verse to read it.

Matthew 6:25-34 · Do not worry

TODO(nick): Confirm the wording for Matthew 6:25-34. Two questions. It runs ten verses, so do you want the whole passage or a shorter cut? And the NIV text of verse 30 has an em dash in it, which this site never uses. How do you want that handled?

Colossians 3:23 · Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

New International Version (NIV)
Galatians 6:4-5 · Do the best you can with your life

TODO(nick): Confirm the wording for Galatians 6:4-5. The source calls for The Message, not the NIV, and I am not certain enough of the exact paraphrase to quote it. Do you want the MSG text here, or should this one switch to NIV so the section is consistent?


E · Engage: Next Steps for Engaging Your Coworker or Group Member

OfferOffer affirmation and positive feedback

Share what the workplace actually expects of them. Encourage them to be a listener and a learner as they lead in this new space.

ConnectConnect them with people

Introduce them to other coworkers, other group members, and other teams over lunch, coffee, or conversation at work.

SuggestSuggest healthy personal rhythms

There is a pull to overwork in the first few months of a new job. As they build a new professional rhythm, help them build a personal one. Ask what they like to do for fun, for exercise, for family time, for down time on the weekend. Two books on leading and influencing well at work:

  • How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter by Liz Wiseman
  • The Way of the Shepherd: Seven Secrets to Managing Productive People by William Pentak and Kevin Leman
PrayPray for the new season

Pray for them, and ask God for chances to share his love with the friend, family member, coworker, or group member walking into this new season.


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Adapted from the Hoboken Grace Care Guide set.