Hoboken Grace · Care Guides
Helping a Friend Through Life with a New Baby
A C.A.R.E. guide for encouraging a group member adjusting to life with a new baby
Some of your group members will have a new baby, through birth or through adoption.
So how do we C.A.R.E. for a group member adjusting to life with a new baby?
C · Crisis: Understanding the Stress of Adjusting to Life with a Baby
Self-care is at an all-time low, especially for the mother.
Financial pressure goes up, especially if one parent stays home instead of going back to work.
Health issues for the birth mom and the newborn are a real concern, on top of a rollercoaster of hormones and emotions.
Lack of sleep makes every stressful situation and conversation harder.
Other kids in the family are adjusting to the new baby too, and parenting them well takes focus.
Most parents feel guilt about going back to work after a birth or an adoption, especially with a first child.
Pumping at the office carries its own anxiety. Nobody wants to talk about it, and it is real for a lot of first-time moms who are breastfeeding and heading back to work.
A · Application: Practical Suggestions for Encouraging New Parents
Your group member may take time to ease back into their new normal as a friend, a coworker, and now a parent. It may be days or weeks before they can bring their best. Expect some tension and some guilt when the time comes to go back to work.
Sometimes your group member is looking for encouragement in this season. Check in on them:
- How is the baby? How is everyone adjusting at home?
- Is there anything I can do to support you?
- Do you have time to grab coffee so we can catch up?
Be available to listen to whatever they want to share. This season is often an emotional rollercoaster. Tears are normal. So is wanting to dive back into routine.
R · Reference: What Does the Bible Say About Parenting?
Tap a verse to read it.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5 · God gives us confidence to be competent as parents
Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
New International Version (NIV)Proverbs 22:6 · Parenting God’s way
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
New International Version (NIV)Philippians 4:6-7 · God gives us peace
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
New International Version (NIV)E · Engage: Next Steps for Engaging Your Group Member
This lands best when you have been through it yourself. Share your own stories, the funny ones and the frustrating ones, so the season feels normal to them. Listen more than you share.
Give them an escape from the stress of this season. Morning coffee or lunch with friends, where the conversation is light, funny, and interesting, and not all about babies, kids, or parenting woes.
If they are really struggling to adjust to this new season, suggest a counselor. Invite them to a Hoboken Grace service with you. And if they like to read, give them a helpful resource:
- How We Love Our Kids by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
- First Time Mom: Getting Off on the Right Foot by Dr. Kevin Leman
- First Time Dad: The Stuff You Really Need to Know by John Fuller
Pray for your group member, their new baby, their spouse, and the rest of their family.