Hoboken Grace · Care Guides
Helping a Friend Through a Move
A C.A.R.E. guide for walking with someone moving into or out of our community
Whether it is a first move or the latest in a long line, a new home in a new area is one of the more stressful things we go through.
So how do we C.A.R.E. for the people in our group moving to or from our community?
C · Crisis: Understanding the Stress of Moving
Moving and buying a new home is not for the faint hearted, especially with a new job and a family in the mix. Knowing the stress and the emotions your group member is carrying is a good place to start.
Financial author Laura Doolin describes five emotional stages of moving, especially a move to a new city:
- Excitement. I get to start over in a new place.
- Terror. What am I doing?
- Doubt. Is this the right decision?
- Apprehensive enthusiasm. This will be a good thing (said repeatedly).
- Acceptance. There is no turning back. This is the best decision for us in this season.
A · Application: Practical Suggestions for Helping
Your group member may be stressed about the move, and may handle it differently than you would. Watch for:
- Fuzzy thinking or trouble making decisions
- High intensity at group
- Physical exhaustion or illness
- Loss of appetite, or eating and drinking to excess
Sometimes group members want help and do not know how to ask for it. A few questions you can ask:
- What is the latest with your move?
- How can I support you at work this week?
- Which day works best for me to bring your family a meal?
- When is moving day, and where do I show up to help? Or which night works best for me to come help you unpack boxes?
Be available just to listen. Let them talk through the moving process, including their biggest stressors. Skip the stories about your own crazy moves.
R · Reference: What Does the Bible Say About Helping Others?
Tap a verse to read it.
Hebrews 13:16 · Helping others pleases God
And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.
New International Version (NIV)Galatians 6:2 · Helping others is a command, not a suggestion
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
New International Version (NIV)James 2:14-17 · Helping others is how we show our faith
What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
New International Version (NIV)E · Engage: Next Steps for Engaging Your Group Member
Offer help at work or at home. Projects, packing, a garage sale, meals, carpool.
If they are a new group member, introduce them to other people in the community. Invite them to lunch or to a connect event. Let them know you are around if they have questions or concerns while they settle in.
Connect them to a new friend or a group in your area, or in the area they are moving to. Point them to a moving or real estate service you trust.
Send them the link to listen to Hoboken Grace Online as a way to take some pressure off.
If they are new to your area, tell them where you shop, where you eat, what you know about the schools, and who you go to for services.
Pray for your group member, for their family, and for the new normal they are moving into.