Hoboken Grace · Care Guides
Helping a Friend Through a Job Loss
A C.A.R.E.S. guide for walking with someone through one of life's hardest transitions.
Job loss can be a shock to the system. It affects every aspect of life and is one of the most difficult emotional challenges to overcome.
So, how do we C.A.R.E. for our coworkers, friends, and family members who are dealing with the emotions and challenges of job loss?
C · Crisis: Understanding Loss & Grief
Losing a job can be completely overwhelming, especially for someone who lacks confidence or struggles with self-doubt in new situations. In fact, research shows that getting fired or laid off can feel worse than losing a spouse.
People who experience job loss often struggle to return to the same level of well-being on measures of mental health, life satisfaction, and self-esteem. Many experience anxiety, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, trouble concentrating, and depression following the loss.
The emotional roller coaster of being fired:
- Shock — “I did not see that coming.”
- Anger — “I was not prepared for how angry I would feel about being fired.”
- Humiliation — “How am I going to tell people I was fired?”
- Disappointment — “I worked so hard and now it feels like it was for nothing.”
- Loss — “I had it all: perks, great salary, title, travel, friends, and it is all gone.”
- Disconnection — “I didn't even get to say goodbye to everyone.”
- Guilt — “I wish I had handled things differently or made better decisions.”
- Panic — “How am I ever going to pay my bills?”
- Pity — “Why did this happen to me?”
- Indifference — “Who cares anyway? I'm better off without this job.”
A · Application: Practical Suggestions for Caring
Your friend, family member, or coworker may need time to cycle through feelings of self-pity. That is normal. But watch for opportunities to encourage them toward a healthy daily routine and small goals.
Sometimes the most helpful thing is simple validation. Something like, “This must be a really difficult season for you,” goes a long way. Don't hesitate to ask:
- How are you doing today? What are you feeling or thinking?
- What do you need most from me as your friend in this season?
- What can I do to support you as you look for a new job?
Be available just to listen. They may need to process their shock and disappointment out loud. Or they may need someone to listen to the dreams and possibilities of what comes next, no matter how realistic or far-fetched it sounds.
R · Reference: What Does the Bible Say?
Tap a verse to read it.
Jeremiah 29:11–13 — God knows our future.
11“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
New International Version (NIV)Romans 8:28 — God will meet our needs.
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
New International Version (NIV)1 Peter 5:7 — God cares about us.
7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
New International Version (NIV)E · Engage: Next Steps for Engaging Your Group Member
Offer a safe place for them to feel, think, and say whatever they are experiencing. You don't have to fix the situation. You can encourage them and walk with them as time goes on.
Connect them with people you know who have been in similar circumstances or who might have leads on opportunities. You can also connect them with the Hoboken Grace Care Team.
Suggest they take this time to discover more of their strengths, talents, and values. Whether the change was welcomed or not, they have a chance to start over. A few assessments that can help:
- CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder)
- The DISC Profile
- Myers-Briggs / MBTI Personality Type (free version available)
- Paterson Center Thinking Wavelength
- The Table Group's Ideal Team Player online assessment
Pray for them. Ask God to give you opportunities to share his love and hope with your friend, family member, or coworker through this season.